Twilight: Journey Into the Abyss (Part Thirteen)

Chapter Ten (continued)

Total freak-out: ”Under the shelter of the cafeteria roof's overhang, Jessica was waiting, her eyes about to bug out of their sockets.”

“You’re, like, walking into school all with Edward and stuff? What the hell, girl? Haven’t you been paying attention? He’s like, a total freak-fest. What’s wrong with you?”

“Are you two up to... you know... stuff?”

“Wait, bad mental picture. Eew. Ewewewewewew. Never mind. Don’t wanna know.”

“Don’t talk to me again. You’re both total weirdos.”

Great potential: “‘Good morning, Jessica,’ Edward said politely. It wasn't really his fault that his voice was so irresistible. Or what his eyes were capable of.”

You have not even yet begun to see what Edward’s eyes are capable of.

I’ve seen it for myself.

Some things you just can’t un-see. Take my word for it.

Get away while you still can. Before the true power of his eyes is unleashed upon us all.

Communication: “[Jessica] gave me a meaningful look, and I suppressed a sigh. What on earth was I going to tell her [referring to Bella + Edward walking into school together]?”

How about, “I think he’s gorgeous, he has golden eyes, and despite the fact that he’s an abusive creep (or quite possibly because of it) I want to screw his brains out for no particularly rational reason.”

Wouldn’t that just about cover it?

Pardon my snickering: “I tried to keep my expression very innocent.”

Hahaha. Haha. Ha. You. Innocent. Hahaha. That’s good.

Oh, you’re serious.

...

Overreaction much?: “[Edward] paused to catch a stray lock of hair that was escaping the twist on my neck and wound it back into place. My heart spluttered hyperactively.”

I think Bella should really see a cardiologist. I don’t think that kind of thing is normal.

Better than the alternatives: “One side of his mouth pulled up into my favorite uneven smile.”

It’s much better than his other three uneven smiles. Those suck. This particular uneven smile is much better.

After the above cheesy smile-a-thon: “I couldn't catch my breath soon enough to respond to that remark. He turned and walked away.”

1. Blech.

2. What a prick. Edward’s trying so hard to be mysterious that it would be really funny if weren’t so terrifically sad that it’s working so well.

I’d take notes, but if Bella’s the type of girl that this act works on, I don’t think I want to have anything to do with this particular technique.

Slang are go: “‘[Jessica] said she had a really good time,’ I assured [Mike].
‘She did?’ he said eagerly.
‘Most definitely.’”

Totally. She was radically amped about the bodacious night you had. She’d love to go back out for some choice grindage at her fave joint. Maybe some ‘za and brew. She said she was sorry for having to motor. Her brother went to a righteously happen'en party, but the burn out hotboxed his van and couldn’t even make it home. Gag me out the door. Total wastoid.

Goth power, activate!: “...the day was still dark with low, oppressing clouds. I smiled up at the sky.”

There really is no hope for this girl to live a normal life, is there?

Well, maybe if she becomes a meteorologist....

Hyperactive: “When I walked into Trig Jessica was sitting in the back row, nearly bouncing off her seat in agitation.”

Must *boing* gossip *boing* with *boing* Bella *boing* or *boing* I’ll *boing* go *boing* crazy *boing* oh *boing* wait *boing* it *boing* might *boing* be *boing* too *boing* late *boing* for *boing* that *boing* damn.

...

*boing*

Where’s the remote?: “‘Tell me everything!’ she [Jessica] commanded before I was in the seat.”

This is the part where I tune out for a page or so.

I foresee much unnecessary reiteration.

Call me crazy.

This is just weird: “‘You should have seen the waitress flirting with him — it was over the top. But he didn't pay any attention to her at all.’ Let him make what he could of that.”

Here, we see Bella essentially having a conversation with Edward through Jessica. We are led to believe that Edward is listening in on their talk with his freaky mind powers, and Bella is tailoring her statements accordingly.

She’s talking with Edward through her conversation with another person, rather than just being more forthcoming and honest with him.

This event is disturbing on a number of levels. This plot and this relationship are both screwy.

A tiny slip: “‘I don't know how you're brave enough to be alone with him,’ [Jessica] breathed.

“Oh, I don’t know, I’ve always kind of wanted to be a vampi...”

“Oops. Wasn’t supposed to say that, was I?”

“...”

“Yeah, he’s totally a vampire.”

“Yeah, I know you’re listening, Edward. Yes I told her. What are you going to do, bite me?”

Also: For heaven’s sake, please, please, please stop using stupid verbs instead of “said”. It’s way beyond annoying. You can’t breathe a damn word. You speak it. Jessica “said”. She said it. Saying. Speaking. Not breathing.

Gah.

Speechless: Jessica: “‘[Edward is] so… intimidating. I wouldn't know what to say to him.’”

“Oh, mostly awkward things that don’t really mean anything in particular but hint strongly at a frighteningly animalistic attraction that’s going to cause me to do some truly scary things later in the story. I mean... my life.”

A tad vague: “She made a face...”

This is what Jessica does after saying the line above. She makes a face. Steph doesn’t tell us what kind of face. She doesn’t tell us how she makes it. She doesn’t tell use anything about the face.

Jessica just makes some sort of face.

You know... a face. Like that one you make when expressing things.

Truth or fiction?: “‘Oh well. He is unbelievably gorgeous.’ Jessica shrugged as if this excused any flaws.”

What, you mean this isn’t the way things actually work? Beauty doesn’t conquer all? Women aren’t all vapid, image-obsessed freaks?

I love how Steph decides now would be a good time to pretend this book cares about anything other than looks. Who is she trying to fool here?

Don’t make me count the number of times you’ve described his damn face. Because I will.

No I won’t.

But you know I’m right.

Delving into the deep depths: “‘I can't explain it right… but he's even more unbelievable behind the face.’”

Tonight on VH1: Behind the Face.

We take a look at the deep characterization, the many facets, the countless layers of Edward Cull...

Oooo, look at those eyes. Those are some damn gorgeous eyes. That man’s got a pretty, pretty face.

Oh, umm... check your local listings.

Continue to Part Fourteen

Review - Condemned: Criminal Origins

Bludgeoned with Thrills

There are approximately eleventy bajillion genres out there today, but if I were forced to pick just one out of the steaming pile and award it the title of Most Likely to Age Poorly and Become Forgotten and Sad Within a Frighteningly Short Amount of Time, it would have to be the horror genre.

The effectiveness of the horror genre is tied almost directly to the quality of presentation values to a degree not seen in any other genre. Going back and playing Resident Evil on the original Playstation is more likely to make you scream with laughter than recoil in horror.

A great design and a top-notch art style will take you a long way, but once a horror game’s graphics have lapsed into the territory of the aged, it quickly moves from exciting big budget thriller to the gaming equivalent of a laughable B-movie.

That said, I was amazed that a title as old as Condemned: Criminal Origins held up as well as it did.

Condemned thrusts you behind the eyes of SCU (Serial Crime Unit) agent Ethan Thomas, a man who has just been framed for the murder of two policemen and fired from his job. Seeking justice (and his job back), Ethan must run around the cramped corridors of fictional Metro City (clever name there, guys) and hunt the serial killer that is actually behind the murders, all while trying to figure out why the city’s population is being turned into murdering psychopaths.

It’s hard to find a really original story in the crowded horror genre, and Condemned isn’t one. As with developer Monolith’s other spooky first-person franchise, F.E.A.R., however, a lot of mileage is squeezed from themes you’ve probably seen before, making for an effective plot that serves its purpose of driving you through the game and providing spooky settings to traverse and creepy bad guys to bludgeon.

I will admit that I have played older horror games than Condemned that held up better than I expected them to, Fatal Frame 2 on the original Xbox comes to mind, but Condemned has a little more going against it than just its few year old age. Being a launch game for a console is rarely a good omen in terms of the lasting power of a game’s graphical fidelity (or its gameplay, for that matter), so I was not expecting good things here.

The age of the game certainly shows, mind you, but it also demonstrates how much thrill a game can throw at you while limping along on quickly aging graphics.

This is largely due to the game’s sound design. Audio has an equal, if not greater, importance than visuals in horror titles. Condemned nails this aspect, providing an experience full of convincing atmospheric noises, creepy wails and screams, and audio that really adds to the intensity of the experience. Other games may have done this better, especially since the game’s release (Bioshock or Monolith’s own F.E.A.R. 2, for instance), but Condemned is certainly no slouch and provides the audio quality necessary to really sell the atmosphere of the game.

Condemned uses its premise to provide a couple of key calling cards that it lays on the table to try and differentiate itself from its peers. One of these stems from your role as an SCU forensic investigator. You’ll get to pick up a number of nifty tools and examine crime scenes in order to find evidence and advance the story.

Unfortunately these sequences are usually little more than a virtual equivalent of hide and seek. The game holds your hand through all of them and it often feels as if you’re just going through the motions. That said, I still found them to be a compelling break from the action and a nice change of pace. Even as shallow as they are, I would rather have the information delivered to me this way than in a boring cutscene.

The other, more significant feature that Condemned boasts about is its combat system. This is not your run-of-the-mill first-person shooter. Condemned takes the rather risky maneuver of focusing its fighting on melee weapons rather than the use of firearms. Luckily the implementation is largely solid and the combat works terrifically with the game’s close-quarters, suspenseful nature.

Attacking is done with a press of the right trigger, while defending is done by tapping the left trigger. You can pick up any of a wide variety of items that you’ll find scattered throughout the environments around you, and each one of them has different ratings for attack power, defense, speed, and range. A little more variety might have been nice, but there’s enough to keep things interesting to the end of the game. Whacking somebody with the sharp end of the blade from a paper cutter just never gets old.

I do wish defense weren’t quite so clunky. Tapping the left trigger starts an animation where your character raises his weapon in defense for a certain length of time. Timing this block with an enemy’s attack seems more difficult than it should be. I don’t see any logical reason why I shouldn’t have been able to just hold the block button down to guard as long as I wanted to.

Most of the environments in Condemned are tight hallways and small rooms. Wandering through some of these well-realized, creepy environments with little more than a glorified stick to protect yourself really adds to the mood. It’s nice to see guns treated as a scarce item - a rare treat to break up the action every once in a while - rather than a reason for the game to exist.

The melee focus also plays into the game’s gritty presentation, as the bludgeoning is suitably violent. You even have the option of finishing off some enemies by pressing a button on the D-pad once you’ve knocked an enemy down for a brutal finisher.

With these two tricks, Condemned manages to vary the pace of its campaign and keep proceedings from ever feeling tedious or boring, right up to its impressive (albeit more than a little confusing) combat-filled finale. Still, this is a horror story we’re talking about here. The ending may be thrilling, but don’t expect it to make any sense.

Horror stories aren’t allowed to do that.

As I seem to have acquired a taste for horror games recently, it’s refreshing to come across games like Condemned that can give me that horror atmosphere I crave without the tired trappings of the stale survival horror sub-genre. Its story may not make a whole lot of sense and it may be a little dated and a little clunky, but it still manages to provide a tense, fun experience.

Condemned is honestly one of the scariest, most intense games I’ve yet played and it manages to provide this experience largely without resorting to the cheap tricks that have become so common in this genre. For that I give it high praise, despite some pesky unevenness.

Unreasonable Attachment

[Note: I don’t like to allow myself to get personal or introspective in my blog posts. It’s not what I’m comfortable writing about or what I think others find interesting. I’m allowing myself this particular indulgence because it’s something that’s important to me and at least somewhat ties in with my normal post topics of gaming and stories somewhat. I’ll try not to make this type of post a habit.]

I am increasingly becoming more and more aware of the fact that it seems to be strangely easy for me to attach myself rather strongly to the characters in the stories I consume.

I believe that a part of me has known this about myself for quite a while, but it is only recently that I am really beginning to understand this phenomenon and what it means.

My clue to this little quirk first appeared when I was younger. Whilst watching movies, I slowly learned that anything sad or touching would seem to affect me far more than other people. Of course, I probably wouldn’t have been able to state it quite so clearly at the time. I just knew that these endings stuck with me and bounced around in my head for far longer than I thought they should.

One slightly embarrassing example I remember was the ending to The Parent Trap. Yes, the cheesy children’s movie starring a young, pre-career flameout Lindsay Lohan.

 
Shut up. I was young and didn’t know any better.

Anyway, and consider yourself spoiler warned if this particular cinematic masterpiece is on the top of your Netflix queue, the film involves two twins who were separated at birth and find out about each other, then they switch places to... fuck with their parents or something. I don’t really remember.

What I do remember was the inevitable happy ending where the two girls were reunited and together again and their parents were back together and everything was happy and magical and awesome.
For some reason it really struck a chord with me and I just couldn’t stop thinking about the ending to that damn movie. I didn’t even think it was a particularly terrific movie at the time, but I couldn’t get the ending out of my head.

This is the earliest example of this phenomenon that I can currently recall (though more than likely not the first time it has occurred) and the pattern has repeated itself plenty of times since.

It’s to the point where my current relationship with stories that carry any sort of emotional weight is tenuous at best. I even go so far as to consciously avoid anything that I know ahead of time might be sad or hard to watch or touching.

Not because I won’t enjoy it, but because I know I won’t be able to get it out of my head. I won’t be able to stop thinking about it. I’ll obsess over it and possibly even become slightly depressed over it for no apparent reason.

This phenomenon extends to games and other forms of media as well, and as The Parent Trap proves, the story doesn’t have to be a particularly good one.

This weird quirk’s reach even goes so far as to force me to become overly attached to characters that I create in the frameworks of in-game creation systems. I have been playing with the same character in Rock Band since the original game came out (around a year and a half ago) and even had an overly expensive figurine made of her via Rock Band’s web site.

I worry about what my increasing fondness for The Sims 3 might do to me. I’ve already had to turn aging off, because the idea of one of my virtual creations getting older and actually dying terrifies me. I’m having to slowly wean myself off of micromanaging every aspect of their lives because I don’t want anything to go wrong.

It even spills over and affects my actual play style in some cases. Only recently have I made the connection, but I now believe that my aversion to being “evil” in games with a morality system isn’t due necessarily to my inherent goodie-goodie nature, but rather to the fact that I latch onto the characters in the game and become overly empathetic to them to the point where the idea of doing harm to them actually bothers me.

Hell, even when reading web comics (a mini-marathon of Questionable Content caused me to write this post in the first place) or experiencing other seemingly silly things that other people wouldn’t even take seriously, I find myself strongly latching onto characters and not wanting to let go.

I don’t want to make this sound like a bad thing, as honestly I’m not sure what kind of thing it is. I have only recently figured out exactly what was going with myself in this regard and am still working through all of its implications and meanings.

Even with all of the apparent downsides this personality trait brings, it also means I can empathize with characters strongly and enjoy some stories on levels that a lot of people may not be able to, which I think is a plus.

Of course, it also means I get attached to crappy stories, mediocre characters, and RPGs I don’t intend to finish, not to mention that I have trouble letting story points go, getting past sad events, and getting myself to even experience certain things because of my foreknowledge of what they may contain and how it might affect me.

What I still don’t know about all of this is why.

Why am I so much more fond of nonexistent characters than other people seem to be? Where did this come from? Is it bad? What does it say about me?

Perhaps that’s a can of worms I don’t really want to open.

What I do know is that it makes watching, reading, or playing more emotionally poignant material difficult for me. I’m beginning to tire of avoiding good stories simply because they stand a strong chance of embedding themselves in my brain for a few days and bringing down my mood, but I also don’t think this is something I can be blamed for doing.

After all, avoiding self-induced depression sounds like a good thing by any other name, doesn’t it?

Ultimately I don’t know if this is normal, I don’t know what it says about me, and I don’t know whether it’s good or bad, but it is certainly a big part of who I am and I’m at least glad to have finally figured this out about myself.

Maybe if I’m lucky I can eventually figure what I can do about it. That is, if anything needs to be done.

iPhone Game Review: iDracula

iDracula - Undead Awakening, aside from being an example of a game with a totally nonsensical name, is also an example of a game that shouldn’t work nearly as well on a platform like the iPhone as it does. For the price of $2.99 it’s currently selling for, it’s an absolute no-brainer purchase for any iPhone owning gamer who happens to like to shoot things.

According to the game’s description, you play as a vampire hunter that is himself being hunted by a slew of fantastical (not to mention cool-looking) creatures, including the fearsome Dracula himself.

None of that matters.

You’re a dude with a bunch of awesome weapons and your goal is to kill as many moving things as possible. That’s all you need to know, but it’s enough to propel the game into seriously addicting status.

The premise of iDracula, like many of the games best suited for the iPhone, is dead simple, but contains enough depth to keep you constantly coming back for more small chunks of exciting gameplay. It’s essentially what would be called a dual stick shooter on a console, only stuffed onto the diminutive iPhone.

There are two virtual dials on screen. One controls your movement while the other controls aiming and firing by holding in the direction of the thing you want to kill. There is a small learning curve to the controls due to the lack of physical feedback, but especially due to the large amount of screen real-estate given to the control dials, it doesn’t take long before you’re blasting things with ease.

The biggest problem with the controls isn’t actually controlling your character, it’s the fact that the dials (and your thumbs rested upon them) take up a decent amount of space on screen and monsters are not afraid to sneak under your digits and attack you when you can’t see them. This isn’t a constant problem or a game-killer by a long shot, but it will be an occasional frustration.

Another small point worth noting is that switching among your large number of weapons (assuming you survive long enough to collect a large number of weapons) can be a little tricky. A bar at the bottom of the screen allows you to slide back and forth between weapon icons, but it’s both a little hard to access and not always as responsive as it should be. It’s more of an annoyance than a true hindrance though.

Still, the shooting will definitely keep you coming back for more. There are a wide variety of creatures to shoot, many of which act differently and require slightly different strategies to dispatch. Aiding you in this is a sizable number of cool weapons, from traditional fare like pistols and shotguns to more exciting armaments like flame throwers, machine guns, and grenade launchers.

There are four modes of play which are admittedly not substantially different from one another, but they do provide just enough variety to allow you to change things up often enough so you never get bored.

Survival and Super Survival are variations on the classic concept of seeing how long you can survive against never ending waves of enemies. Ammo, new weapons, and even powerups can drop from defeated foes, so you must constantly keep on your toes and collect these items while not being surrounded or overwhelmed by the quickly escalating number of enemies.

Rush is similar, but instead of starting out with a pistol and a small number of enemies, you choose one of three top-tier weapons with unlimited ammo and are immediately dropped into terrifyingly large numbers of enemies coming at you from all sides. It’s truly tough to survive very long here, but it’s surely addicting to try.

Finally, Wave Attack (which was added in a post-release update, along with one of the other modes, new weapons, items, enemies, levels, and other tweaks) sets you against waves of enemies, each with a beginning and an end. The enemies drop gold which you can then spend between rounds on ammo, new weapons, or health. Deciding how to spend this money to best survive what’s next adds a satisfying touch of strategy to the proceedings.

In all of these modes, killing enemies gains you access to perks, which are essentially level up bonuses like increased health, faster reload times, or greater damage. Some of them are even riskier and more creative, such as armor that slows you down or an immortality perk that gives you 30 seconds of unlimited health followed by instant death. Choosing which one you want out of the four random choices every time you gain access to a new perk adds another small dose of strategy to the game and definitely increases replay value as each time you play will be ever so slightly different.

iDracula’s description promises “the most intense game in the App Store”. I can’t vouch for the entirety of the App Store, but I can say that after spending many hours playing this supremely addictive game, it is certainly the most intense iPhone game I have played yet and one of the best deals out there for iPhone gamers at its low price.

No action game loving iPhone fan should be without this game.

Twilight: Journey Into the Abyss (Part Twelve)

Chapter Nine (continued)

Clumsy/hilarious: “‘You were going to fight them?’ This upset him. ‘Didn't you think about running?’
‘I fall down a lot when I run,’ I admitted."

Best. Excuse. Ever.

A true first: “We were in front of Charlie's house. The lights were on, my truck in its place, everything utterly normal. It was like waking from a dream.”

I can honestly say that this is the first time in my life full of consuming stories that I have really and truly wished for the “wake up from a dream” ending.

???: "’Bella? ... Will you promise me something? ... Don't go into the woods alone."

What is this, Friday the 13th?

Not that I don’t wish it were. This book could really use some more needless death.

...Especially Bella’s.

Predictions of the predictable future: “This [not going into the woods], at least, was an easy promise to honor.”

Well, I know where Bella’s going in the very near future by herself.

You just mark my words.

Unintended consequences: “I turned and he was leaning toward me, his pale, glorious face just inches from mine. My heart stopped beating.”

I stood there for a moment, a lustful smile creeping onto my face, then collapsed on the ground in an uncomfortable heap.

I don’t remember much from the trip to the hospital.

They said Edward had panicked and dumped me on the sidewalk in front of Charlie’s house. Luckily Charile was up that night doing something particularly boring as normal and heard the commotion. He was the one that actually took me to the hospital and saved my life and stuff.

I still don’t like him.

I only wish I could have been there to see Edward abandon me. I’m sure his eyes looked dreamy and half-worried as he quickly dumped me on the ground and ran away, every step a picture of grace.

The whole post-date cardiac arrest thing did get the rest of the school gossiping for quite a while though. Don’t those stupid hicks know that’s a perfectly normal reaction to being obsessively infatuated with Edward?

Sheesh. Bunch of weirdos.

Minty fresh: “‘Sleep well,’ he said. His breath blew in my face, stunning me.”

Dude, get a breath mint! What the hell man? I was all into you too and you had to go and ruin it with your stinky breath.

Seriously though, Bella goes on to say that his breath smelled wonderful because it contained the same scent as his jacket.

WTF?

Whose breath smells the same as their clothing? Does this guy order sides of leather with his animal blood?

What a pair these two make.

A desire to nitpick: “‘Hello?’ I asked breathlessly.”

I really want to nitpick here about the fact that it’s technically impossible to ask anything while lacking the breath required for human speech, but Twilight is hardly the first book I’ve read to use this stupid speech tag so, as much as I want to, I can’t hold it against Steph in particular.

Damn.

Little white lies: Jess: “‘Bella?’
Bella: ‘Hey, Jess, I was just going to call you.’

Well, I was, but then I remembered that I hate you. Then I decided not to.

The cold, it burns: “It wasn't until I was in the shower — the water too hot, burning my skin — that I realized I was freezing.”

A few minutes after finally figuring out that I was cold, I realized that I had forgotten to turn on the cold water in the shower at all and now had third degree burns all over me. I chided myself for being so forgetful. A little while later I decided a few horrified screams of pain might be appropriate, so I let loose.

Self-comfort: “I dressed for bed swiftly and climbed under my quilt, curling into a ball, hugging myself to keep warm.”

Yes Bella, keep telling yourself that the cold is the reason you’re curled into a ball hugging yourself at night, not the fact that you’ve fallen in love with a goddamn vampire and are now totally screwed.

An inside look: “My mind still swirled dizzily, full of images I couldn't understand...”

Now I know what it's like to be a ditz.

ZING!

To recap: “About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edward was a vampire. Second, there was part of him — and I didn't know how potent that part might be — that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him.”

See, if you had just said all of this earlier, we could have saved ourselves an entire chapter.

Bella does have quite a talent for obvious restatement, however. She should find a way to put that talent to good use.

Maybe she should try being a writer or something.

Chapter Ten

Inner conflict: “It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was sure last night was a dream.”

This was primarily because that part of me was busy arguing with the part of me that kept trying to insist I shouldn’t be arguing with myself like this.

“It’s not healthy!” she kept saying. “People will think you’re crazy!”

Stupid part of me. What does she know?

Doom and gloom: “It was foggy and dark outside my window, absolutely perfect.”

Freakin’ goth chicks. Weirdos.

Friends in the sky: “Hopefully the rain would hold off until I could find Jessica.”

Luckily I’m fast friends with the rain god, Ishkur, so I can probably pull a favor for this one.

He owes me.

Foggy with fog: “It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it.”

Smoky with fog? Could you possibly come up with any more redundant of a descriptor than that? Wow. The master of truly creative pose as always, Steph.

I love how the air is “almost” smoky with it. Not quite, but almost. The air was so close to being smoky with fog that you could almost taste it, but alas, it was just plain old foggy.

Contradictory weather: “It was such a thick fog that I was a few feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car in it: a silver car.”

Let me get this straight. The fog is not even to the point where you’d consider it “smoky,” but it’s so thick that you can’t see more than a few feet down the driveway?

Someone’s being a little inconsistent again.

She needs a hotline: “‘Do you want to ride with me today?’ he [Edward] asked.... He was really giving me a choice — I was free to refuse, and part of him hoped for that.”

How is Edward the one with mind reading powers, again? Bella is displaying psychic abilities that would make Miss Cleo jealous. She can read Edward’s mind like a book.

A poorly written book, anyway.

Uncanny insight: “I frowned. ‘Do I react badly?’
Edward: ‘No, that's the problem. You take everything so coolly — it's unnatural. It makes me wonder what you're really thinking.’”

Here, Edward displays a frankly unnerving ability to point out a problem with the book that even Steph didn’t seem to catch on to. Even though Steph wrote Edward’s character....

Hmm....

You’d really think she’d learn from... herself.

Continue to Part Thirteen