L.A. Noire Review: A muddled mess disguised by shiny packaging

Think back to when you were a child. In front of you are a pile of presents for your birthday, Christmas, or whatever. In the back, standing tall above all the rest, is a giant gift that promises hidden spoils like none you’ve yet received. You drool over it until your mouth goes dry. Thoughts of what wonders it might contain keep you awake at night.

Then the day finally comes. Rushing toward the magical gift, you can’t open it fast enough. Paper flies in every direction. The beautiful exterior is shredded as if by a cat on a catnip-fueled rampage. As the ruins of the colorful paper lie in tatters on the floor, you finally glimpse the package’s contents. This is the moment you have been waiting for. The truth takes a few moments to sink in. You don’t want to believe it at first. Inside is a giant box of tube socks. 

L.A. Noire is that giant box of tube socks. Its impressive visual wrapping quickly gives way to a mundane, repetitive, and unsatisfying gameplay experience that fails to capitalize on the wonderment it once instilled in you. All you’re left with at the end is frustration, disappointment, and a giant box of proverbial tube socks.

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Heavy Rain Review - Potential Squandered by Sloppy Story

Heavy Rain, as it turns out, is a difficult game to pin down. As I sit here trying to summarize my feelings, I find it hard to form the usual nice, tidy narrative explaining why the game was either spectacular or a load of crap.

At the center of the turmoil is one concrete statement that I feel certain of. Heavy Rain is a thrilling, unique title that tries to bring something new to the table and almost manages to succeed, but that ultimately has too many problems to recommend without reservations. 

Its strengths will be enough to make a certain type of gamer fall madly in love with it, and rightfully so. It makes a valiant attempt to push gaming forward by introducing stronger characters and narrative influence into the typically juvenile gaming landscape. 

Unfortunately, having a noble concept is not enough to qualify you as a success. Execution is key, and here Heavy Rain stumbles. Most will find a litany of problems that mar what could otherwise have been a terrific experience.

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